Upset

I have about a million things I want to blog about but right now I just need to get something off my chest.  I do not know what has happened to me.  I used to pride myself on having the patience of an angel.  Now I lose my patience at the drop of a hat.  I feel like I cannot control the frustration that builds in me and then all of a sudden I just snap.  I HATE this!  I have tears streaming down my face as I type this.  I don't know why I feel this way.  I don't know if it is pregnancy hormones, stress.  I don't know.  We have been through a lot these last few months.  Reuniting with my husband after a long 7 month deployment, packing up our house in preparation for our move, living out of suitcases for 2 1/2 months essentially homeless, making the long trip tp Japan, finding out we are expecting baby #4, emercing ourselves in a completely different culture and trying to get settled at our new home here in Okinawa.  I am pretty sure that list includes a lot of the top life stressors.  I just feel this pressure to always be strong for my family, to always stay calm, cool and collected.  I am never allowed to vent my stress or frustrations or at least I feel that way.  My children have been absolutely terrible behavior wise and sleeping wise since we landed here.  I am trying to be understanding that they are experiencing a lot of changes right now, their worlds as they have always known  them to be have been turned upside down.  But sometimes I just want them to freaking do what they are told period!  I rarely had this problem before this move and now they can't seem to listen or do anything I tell them to do the first time they are told.  Sleeping it beyond ridiculous!  All of my children have been amazing sleepers and have been since they were all 2 months old.  Since arriving here, they don't seem to know what sleep is.  They are refusing to nap which leads to extremely fussy and whiny children for the majority of the day.  I get to tired of hearing blood curdling screams from my middle one over the most minor things, my youngest has been have an awful go of teething since before we left the states and it continues even now.  My husband is extremely helpful in all areas of the house so I will not complain about him at all.  However, he has no idea what it means to be with our children 24/7 with no breaks, listening to the unending whining, crying, and the battling to get them to do anything.  He gets his sane hours from it all, he goes to work everyday from 7-5ish and then he gets to come home and be fun, super dad who is really quick to give them a treat without asking me how their day has gone and then he runs off to the gym for an hour or more every evening as well.  Where is my break from the insanity?!  And no, going to the grocery store with no kids doesn't count, that is something that has to be done. 

Anyway, I just don't want my lack of patience and emotions right now to affect my relationship with my children!  I love them more than anything in this world!  I just feel like I am the worst mommy ever and I can't seem to fix it.  This all came about with this last deployment and it seems I can't run away from it.  Kind of a sucky post but I had to get these feelings out somewhere.  I promise more appealing post coming very soon.  I just need to get myself together right now.

Family Time!!

We are finally in New York relaxing with family!  It is so nice to have this down time with each other.  After the crazy that followed Thanksgiving with the movers and packing, I am not taking this time for granted.  The hubs and I even got to have a date night at Toy R Us! HAHA My in-laws kept the kids for us to we could go to dinner and do some Christmas shopping.  We went to The Melting Pot and then to do our shopping.  It was fun!  Next week starts the arrival of the rest of the family and then of course Christmas.  We are celebrating both my daughter's birthdays as well.  I am beginning to worry a tad about all of the gifts under the tree.  How are we going to get all of this stuff to Japan with us?!!  I guess we will just need to mail them all to our new address there in Japan and they will be there waiting on us when we get there.  Lots of changes taking place and so much up in the air.  SO many unknowns right now.  Makes me a little nervous seeing how I am such a planner and like to be organized.  I am starting to embrace this new sense of adventure though.  I know I will not regret stepping out of my comfort zone and taking advantage of this opportunity for our family.  I truly cannot wait to tell of our experiences!  I know they will be wonderful!  But right now I am enjoying all of this family time with nowhere to be and no commitments!!

Latest and greatest

So clearly I have been super busy and haven't really had the time to post!  I will have to load pictures and all of that jazz at a later date but for now I just wanted to let you know that I have not fallen off the face of the planet.  The hubs made it home and we are so thrilled to be back together as a family.  I knew once he got home that we would be running around crazy trying to get ready for our move to Japan.  I was not wrong in my assumption.  I have been going through things, organizing, making list, separating and doing inventory of everything in our home.  We also had Thanksgiving in there for which we drove a 21 hour drive to spend it with family.  It wound up taking us 2 1/2 days to get home.  The movers were at our house the day after we got home to pack up our house.  We are currnetly living in a hotel until our final packout on Friday.  Then we are either heading to Disney World for a few days or heading to NY.  Yesterday was not a fun day at all!  I woke up feeling like I had the flu and the movers were at the house all day long.  Thankfully I had a friend to pick the kids up from preschool and take them until they left.  Then the hubs comes home from work and is having trouble breathing and has abdominal pain.  He ended up in the emergncy room trying to figure out what was going on.  He left 6 hours later with no anwers.  Mean while I am stuck in the hotel room with 3 little ones who are full of endless energy and still feeling like complete crap.  I really hope the rest of this journey goes a little more smoothly.  If nothing else, I would really prefer no more sickness so we can function to full capacity.  So as of today, our household goods are on their way to Japan, we are living in a hotel room, and we still have one more packout to go before we leave town for good.  I will post as much as I can throughout this whole process.  There will be a point where I have no internet or phone or any connection to family until we get situated once in Japan but hopefully that will be short lived.  There you have it ladies and gentlemen, the latest and greatest in our lives!

Veterans Day

Just taking a moment to thank ALL of our Veterans!  The sacrifices they make/made are priceless and are truly a selfless act.  The freedoms we enjoy in the USA absolutely do not come free.  They sometimes come at the ultimate price.  I am so incredibly thankful they are willing to put themselves out there for my family and I.  For that I thank you from the bottom of my heart!  A special thank you to my favorite veteran, my hubby!  We are so lucky to call you our husband, father, and protector!!  You are my ultimate hero!!  I love you babe!

Feeling pretty blessed!

Today I have a lot to be thankful for.  Not just today, but everyday really.  I am feeling rather blessed today though, because my husband just informed me that he is planning a trip to NYC for us when he gets home and before we leave for Japan.  He told me he had worked things out with his parents to keep the kids and we were heading to the city for a couple of days.  The rest is a secret.  I am so excited!  I love going to the city.  But what I love even more is "dating" my husband!  I love and adore my children more than my next breath but after being with them 24/7 with no help for the last 7/8 months, I am ready for a mini break to rejuvinate myself.  The thought of spending a few days with my best friend, soul mate and partner in crime makes me giddy!!  I love him so much!  I do not take this man for granted!!  He is of a rare breed and I thank God for him every. single. day!  Now I really cannot wait for him to come home!!   

Roads worth traveling

As I drive the same roads that I have driven for that past 3 years, I am suddenly reminded that in a very short period of time I will no longer be driving them.  It makes me sad that I won't be passing over the drawbridge to meet the girls for breakfast every Wednesday morning, or the long stretch of road boardered by the oh so tall pines that lead to my best friend, or even the road that leads "home".  There is nothing special about the town we live in, no big shopping malls, museums, professional sport arenas.  Just a typical military town with the extremely loud sound of the jets passing over.  But this little town has been our "home" for the last 3 years and we have come to love it here.  We have made some amazing friends that will stand the test of time and it is those friends that make this place our home and so special.  I know chances are we will end up back here but goodbyes are never easy.  Because you know when you return, nothing will have remained as it was.  So as I am driving through I will take it all in and remember with fond memories our time spent in this place we call "home".   I have no doubt that our new place of residence will also leave a lasting impression and we will be just as sad to move on from there as well.  It's the roads that we travel daily that create the map of our lives and that make up the story of our lifetime.  Make sure they are roads worth traveling!  I know we sure have!

Restaurant Tasting Tour

I got together with a few ladies yesterday for a day of down time!  My brother-in-law came to the house to keep all 3 kiddos for me so that I could have a relaxing day with the girls.  We headed to Raleigh to do a walking wine/gourmet food tasting tour of some local restaurants.  It was amazing!  We had a fabulous time and there was something for everyone's liking.  After the tour we hit the mall for some shopping too.  I think I finally made it home at midnight and let my head hit the pillow.  My babies even slept in a little this morning!  I am so grateful to my brother-in-law for giving me the opportunity to get away for a bit and be "me" instead of mommy!  I sometimes forget who that is anymore.  Enjoy the pics!

 First Stop was Mecca:

 Second stop Dos Taquitos Centro:

 Third stop Crema:

 Fourth stop Draft Carolina Burgers and Beers:

 Fifth stop Solas:

 Sixth stop The Raleigh Wine Shop:

 And the final stop for dessert The Cupcake Shoppe: