Love is just too weak of a word

I always have such vivid, real, detailed dreams while pregnant.  They are usually something that pulls at my heartstrings or really make me question myself at times.  A few nights ago I had a dream that I left my sleeping kids in the car while I went in shopping with my mom.  All of a sudden it dawned on me that I didn't have my kids with me.  The complete fear and dread that washed over me in my dream was so overwelming.  I took off in a dead sprint to get to my babies as fast as I could.  They seemed to be a million miles away and it was taking me forever to get there.  Then once I got there I realized I left my keys with my mom and I had to run all the way back across the mall to get them.  I did finally get to my car and my kids were ok but I just couldn't bare to think of their reaction when they woke up and realized I was no where to be found or worse yet, they weren't ok.  Then last night I had a dream that my husband told me he was leaving me with no explaination at all.  He just left.  He wouldn't talk to me or have anything to do with me.  I finally cornered him and told him I deserved an explaination.  He was really hesitant and didn't want to tell me.  He finally murmured it out that he thought I was a terrible mother to our children and that he just couldn't be married to me anymore.  Leading up to this I had believed whole heartedly that he just needed some space and he would come back.  But when he finally said those words it hit me like a ton of bricks, it literally knocked the wind out of me.  And I knew in that moment that he was never coming back.  It was so gut wrenching and heart breaking!  In real life my husband has always told me that he knew when he met me that I would make a great mother and that was one of the reasons he wanted to marry me.  He knew he wanted several children.  So in my dream I just kept thinking back to that conversation and asking him why he hadn't been honest with me.  He always tells me I am the best mother in the world and that our children are so lucky to have me as their mommy.  All I could think was why would he tell me that when he didn't really believe it?  It was during that moment that all of these thoughts came rushing in my head.  It only made me realize that I had failed miserably at letting my husband and my children know just how much I loved them.  But I kept getting frustrated because I knew in my heart that the word LOVE was too weak of a word to describe how I truly felt for them.  I couldn't find the right word, a strong enough word that would convey to him and my children how much they meant to me and how sorry I was that I let them down. 

So I wake up from this dream and cannot go back to sleep.  All I wanted to do was go get my babies and hold them and somehow make them see how much I love them and what I would do for them.  I wanted to wake my husband and do the same.  I didn't do either, I just lay there wide awake and feeling so overwelmed with this dream that felt so real.  My husband woke up this morning for work and the first thing he did was roll over, kiss my forehead, and tell me I was his best friend!  Now he tells me this often but little did he know how comforting those words were for me at that moment.  I told him my dream and he just hugged me and told me he was never going anywhere and he truly DOES believe I am the best mommy ever!  See?  How do I tell this man how much I love him?  Love is just too weak of a word!